From: officialflagrant
Yoni Park, a North Korean defector and New York Times best-selling author, shares her profound cultural observations from global travel and experiences of freedom in America, contrasting them with her life under a totalitarian regime [00:00:21].
Initial Culture Shock: Food and Body Image
Upon arriving in America, Park experienced immediate culture shock related to food and body image. She initially misinterpreted comments about “the Heavies” (referring to breasts) as concerns about her weight, leading her to feel body-shamed [00:02:26]. This experience highlighted the stark contrast between North Korea, where food is scarce [00:02:45], and America, where overconsumption can be a problem [00:07:49]. She noted that Americans teach about watching food labels and avoiding certain foods to prevent getting “too fat” [00:07:55], a concept alien to someone who grew up eating insects, rats, and grasshoppers to survive starvation [00:06:12].
Freedom of Expression and Comedy
Park observes a striking difference in freedom of expression, particularly in comedy. In North Korea, comedy must glorify dictators [00:08:50]. She was shocked that in America, people can freely mock leaders and themselves [00:01:18]. This extends to making fun of the president directly, even with the president present [00:05:30]. She notes that the ability to make fun of everything without fear of execution is a profound aspect of American freedom [01:32:56].
Perceptions of Race and Discrimination
Cultural observations from global travel reveal stark differences in racial perceptions. Park notes that South Korea discriminates against people from poorer countries, including North Koreans, despite shared language and genetics [00:40:11]. In contrast, she perceives America as exceptionally less racist and more accepting of diverse backgrounds [00:40:16]. She states that there are literal signs in Japan and South Korea prohibiting foreigners from entering restaurants [02:21:12], making American racism seem like a “joke” by comparison [02:21:30].
Park’s initial encounter with racial diversity in South Korea left her unaware of racial distinctions, and she only learned about different races through interaction [00:50:00]. She finds it difficult to differentiate between people of different races (e.g., all white people look the same, all black people look the same) [00:51:01].
Social Norms and Dating and cultural relationships in America
Social interactions, such as hugging and physical touch, were new to Park, as Korean culture is very conservative, lacking even handshakes between different genders [00:54:12]. Her experience with dating apps and American dating customs also presented challenges. She initially didn’t understand that a dinner invitation implied a date or a potential kiss [01:00:02]. She also noted that modern American women in New York and San Francisco often engage in non-exclusive or open relationships, a lifestyle she supports but wouldn’t personally choose [02:44:07].
Challenges in Relationships
Cultural differences also present challenges in contemporary American society in personal relationships. Park recalls a specific issue with her ex-husband, an American, regarding a simple offer of help with their son. She meant it as a thoughtful gesture, common in her culture, but he interpreted it as being told what to do [02:45:51]. This highlights the American emphasis on complete gender equality, even in trivial household matters, which can lead to misunderstandings [02:47:58]. Park notes that her ex-husband was surprised by her opinions, expecting a “submissive” North Korean woman, to which she retorted, “Why do you think I escaped there?” [02:48:22].
Economic and Political Ideologies
Park is critical of certain ideologies in American academia and media, suggesting they are influenced by Marxist thinking. She observes that some professors at Columbia University promote the idea that math and science are “racist” and that problems in society are only solvable through communist revolution [01:41:22]. She argues that “woke” ideology distracts from real threats like dictatorships and undermines American foundational principles [01:44:19].
Park believes that socioeconomic inequalities and the American Dream are better addressed through capitalism and that attempts to achieve “equality of outcomes” are flawed. She points out that universal free services like healthcare or education, often promised in socialist systems, fail because they ignore the need for compensation and individual effort [01:46:33]. She contrasts the American system, which offers choices and responsibility, with North Korea, where everything was promised free but nothing was delivered [01:46:43].
The Overwhelm of Freedom
While appreciative of her freedom, Park describes it as “overwhelming” and “painful” [02:22:20]. After a life where every decision was made for her, making choices became tiring. She notes she couldn’t even read a restaurant menu or choose her own clothes initially [02:36:22].
“Freedom is a responsibility… Thinking is tiring. I never like thought for myself that was not a functional brain in my head like I was thinking for myself you know it was very hard to do that so even like looking at a restaurant menu is probably like dude I don’t know…” [02:35:56]
She understands why some people crave security and desire governments to take care of them, seeing it as a human instinct [02:37:07]. However, she argues that freedom is an “invented” and “innovated” idea [02:37:28] that must be fought for and protected, cautioning against complacency [02:54:26].
The Importance of American Freedom
Park consistently emphasizes America’s role as a “beacon of hope” for the world [01:48:15]. She believes the country’s commitment to freedom, individual liberty, and human rights is why regimes like North Korea and China aim to destroy it [01:31:29]. She sees the ongoing internal political and cultural divisions in America as a dangerous distraction from external enemies [01:14:14].
Park argues that the right to bear arms is essential for protecting freedom of speech and for citizens to defend themselves against potential government overreach [01:31:01]. She asserts that if North Koreans had guns, they would not have allowed their families to be taken [01:31:09]. This highlights the impact of culture and societal systems on individual freedoms and the stark contrast in state control.