From: officialflagrant
The discussion explores the hypothetical scenario of a comedian running for president in the United States, drawing parallels to Volodymyr Zelenskyy’s successful political career in Ukraine [00:00:02]. The idea centers around Andrew Schulz as a potential candidate, highlighting his comedic approach to political issues [00:00:08].
Andrew Schulz for President: A Comedic Platform
Andrew Schulz performs a mock presidential announcement, offering satirical stances on various political issues [00:00:19]. His proposed platform includes:
- Climate Change
- Replacing Greta Thunberg with the girls from Euphoria to make “sea levels won’t be the only thing rising six inches” [00:00:37].
- Russia/Ukraine Conflict
- Suggesting sending Machine Gun Kelly instead of machine guns [00:00:44].
- Economy
- Solving inflation by hiring “cheaper labor,” specifically “women” instead of “illegal immigrants” [00:00:56].
- Abortion
- Mandatory abortions performed only by licensed NRA members, who “know how to get one out of the chamber” [00:01:08].
- Citizenship
- Asserting his American birth, even if his nose “looks like it was designed to exhale hookah” [00:01:17].
- Critical Race Theory
- Proposing that Chris Rock teach it, noting “there’s two sides, it’s Black people” [00:01:27].
- Illegal Immigration
- Suggesting “t-shirt contests in the Rio Grande” and accepting only “the best of the breasts” [00:01:38].
The mock campaign slogan is “Andrew Schulz, the liar you can trust” [00:02:07], a commentary on the nature of political discourse today.
Cabinet and Political Strategy
The discussion extends to forming a comedic cabinet, with various team members assigned roles such as Vice President, Head of Security, and Secretary of Treasury [00:02:25]. They even discuss creating a political action group called “Hindus for Schulz for a greater America” [00:02:43].
A key aspect of Schulz’s “political” ambition is the desire to reach the debates, but not actually become president [00:04:06], or perhaps become a “dictator” [00:04:15] for life, going “full Putin” to “get rid of these Nazis” [00:04:26]. He believes he “could beat Trump” in a humorous way, contrasting his comedic background with Trump’s perceived funniness as a non-comic [00:04:48].
Further policy proposals include:
- Lowering gas prices [00:06:09].
- Supporting trans equality based on watching Euphoria [00:06:23].
- Accepting refugees if they can “find a way” to arrive, particularly by boat [00:06:46].
- Addressing racism by making things that endanger black people illegal, starting with fried chicken and sugar [00:08:28], and later suggesting limiting voting rights to those who vote for him [00:08:48].
- Rejecting “universal healthcare” on the grounds that Americans shouldn’t pay for the entire “universe,” but supporting “American healthcare” [00:09:04].
The campaign strategy humorously involves offering “stimulus” money via QR codes to win “minds and hearts” [00:10:47].
Comedians and Controversy: Will Smith and Chris Rock
The conversation shifts to the Will Smith-Chris Rock Oscars incident, acknowledging the impact of such events on public perception and careers [00:11:19]. The hosts discuss Tony Rock’s reaction, supporting Chris Rock’s decision to not immediately address the incident on stage to allow for a well-crafted response for a future special [00:20:49]. The discussion also touches on the shift in public sentiment towards Will Smith and how it affects his career and projects [00:16:53].
Other Mentions of Comedy and Comedians
- Louis C.K.’s Grammy Win: His win for Comedy Album of the Year is seen as a potential step towards his “uncancellation” [01:05:17], testing public reaction to his return to mainstream recognition.
- Gerrod Carmichael’s SNL Hosting and Special: His decision to host Saturday Night Live and release a special where he came out as gay is discussed [01:38:00]. The hosts humorously analyze his fashion sense post-coming out [01:40:19] and his special’s blend of personal story and stand-up comedy [01:41:01]. They also jokingly critique his choice to go through a painful coming out process when his sexuality was already perceived to be known [01:42:52].
- Ohio Shows: Andrew Schulz reflects on past difficult shows in Ohio, noting instances where audiences were unresponsive, leading to unusual performance choices like standing on a stool [01:03:50]. This highlights challenges in stand-up comedy.
- Comedian Interactions: A story is shared about Andrew Schulz’s blunt advice to Gerrod Carmichael regarding his specials lacking audience laughter, showcasing the directness often found in comedian interactions [01:39:11].
- Stand-up under attack: The hosts humorously mention a past incident where Andrew Schulz “fried” a deaf person for “60 minutes straight” during a show, mistaking his unresponsiveness for rudeness, leading to a feeling of deep regret after realizing the truth [01:31:40]. This points to the unexpected situations and challenges faced by comedians during live performances.