From: hubermanlab
Grief is a universal experience that perplexes many due to its complex and often unpredictable nature. Although almost everyone will encounter grief at some stage in their lives, many aspects of this profound emotional response remain misunderstood. In a recent episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast, Andrew Huberman, a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine, explores grief, unraveling the science and the myths surrounding it.
Understanding Grief
At its core, grief is a motivational state characterized by a profound sense of yearning and desire. This state resembles a deep craving for something just beyond reach, echoing the neuroscience findings that the brain centers involved in motivation and pursuit are active in grief [00:20:00]. This understanding provides a biological perspective of why grief can feel so agonizingly persistent—a continual reaching for someone who is no longer there.
Stages of Grief
Many discussions about grief include reference to the Five Stages of Grief, outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. These stages include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance [00:12:55]. While Kübler-Ross’s model has been pivotal in acknowledging the complexity of grief, modern research indicates that not everyone experiences all these stages, nor do they progress through them linearly [00:13:00].
The Five Stages Explained
- Denial: Typically the initial response, characterized by disbelief and refusal to accept the reality of loss.
- Anger: Recognizing the loss leads to feelings of rage, often directed toward oneself or others.
- Bargaining: Individuals might engage in negotiation with themselves or a higher power, entertaining “what if” scenarios.
- Depression: A deep sorrow and withdrawal from life, contemplating the futility of action without the deceased.
- Acceptance: The acknowledgment of the loss and an emotional adjustment to the new reality.
Myths About Grief
Contrary to common belief, recent research refutes the idea of a fixed order or requirement for these stages. The myth of linear progression through the stages of grief is just that—a myth [00:13:06]. Furthermore, the duration and expression of grief vary significantly among individuals, influenced by personal attachments and neurobiological factors.
Misconceptions Clarified
- Linear Stages: People do not universally experience grief in a set sequence.
- Universal Experience: Not all individuals will experience all five stages.
- Duration: Grief does not have a prescribed timeline and can be a lifelong process for some.
Science-Based Insights
Huberman emphasizes the role of the brain’s reward centers in the grieving process, particularly the nucleus accumbens, which is associated with desire and pursuit [00:19:00]. This understanding delineates grief from depression, reinforcing the idea that antidepressants may not be effective for grief, which is more closely tied to yearning than to the dysregulated mood present in depression [00:11:00].
Conclusion
The exploration of grief’s stages and myths reveals complex layers of emotional and motivational states that challenge simplistic models. With advances in neuroscience, our understanding of grief is evolving from rigid frameworks to more nuanced perspectives that recognize individual variability in grieving processes. As Huberman notes, a deeper comprehension of grief not only aids in navigating personal loss but also enriches the shared human experience of love and attachment.
Reference
Huberman, A. (2023). Huberman Lab Podcast on Grief. Episode transcript.