From: lexfridman
The intricate relationship between memory, experience, and happiness is a fascinating subject that has intrigued researchers for decades. The discussion of the experiencing self versus remembering self provides a foundational framework to understand how these elements interact.
The Experiencing Self vs. The Remembering Self
In the book Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, the concept of two selves—the experiencing self and the remembering self—is introduced [00:40:09]. The experiencing self is the part of us that lives through moments, whereas the remembering self recalls and evaluates these experiences later. Notably, Kahneman highlights a paradox: most decision-making and pursuit of happiness are governed by the remembering self, which does not always accurately reflect the totality of the lived experience [00:41:55].
Daniel Kahneman
“The experiencing self lives through the event, while the remembering self keeps a story about what happened” [00:41:44].
Time and Memory in the Construction of Happiness
An interesting aspect of the remembering self is that in its narratives, the duration of experiences often holds little weight compared to key events or outcomes—illustrating that time is not a central construct in evaluative memories [00:42:50]. This is reflective of how we often neglect the passage of unsatisfactory experiences once a satisfying outcome is reached, suggesting that the structure of memories can skew our perception of happiness.
Implications for the Pursuit of Happiness
The dichotomy between the experiencing self and the remembering self has profound implications for how individuals pursue happiness. Kahneman posed a thought-provoking query about vacation planning—would you choose the same vacation if you were to forget it afterward? The query strikes at the heart of whether individuals seek experiences for their inherent joy or for the memories they construct afterward [00:44:09].
Modern Considerations in Memory and Experience
In today’s digital age, social media platforms amplify the focus on the remembering self by allowing individuals to document experiences through photographs and updates, emphasizing constructing and sharing memories over living the experience in the moment [00:44:37]. This further complicates how experiences are valued and remembered.
Conclusion
The exploration of memory and experience in happiness challenges the simplistic notion that richness of life is determined solely by lived experiences. Instead, it suggests that the narrative constructed by our remembering self plays a pivotal role in defining our feelings of satisfaction and happiness. As individuals increasingly embrace the recording and sharing of their experiences, understanding this dynamic becomes ever more crucial to navigating personal happiness.
For further reading on the intersection of memory and time perception, see concept_of_time_and_memory and for additional insights into the role of memory in shaping emotions and happiness, explore human_memory_and_the_act_of_remembering.