From: hubermanlab
Emotions play a critical role in shaping our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions with others. Recognizing and regulating emotions are foundational skills for enhancing emotional intelligence and improving our overall quality of life.
Recognizing Emotions
Dr. Mark Brackett, a professor of psychology and director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, delineates a structured approach to recognizing emotions using the acronym RULER:
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Recognizing emotions involves being aware of our own emotions and observing the emotions of others. This process can include interpreting facial expressions, vocal tones, and body language. It serves as the starting point for understanding the emotional landscape that influences our interactions and personal well-being.
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Understanding emotions requires probing the causes and consequences of certain feelings. This process aids in grasping why we feel a particular way and predicting the potential impact on our behavior and thoughts. Dr. Brackett emphasizes the importance of context in understanding emotional responses.
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Labeling emotions accurately is crucial for clarity. For instance, differentiating between anger and disappointment can lead to more targeted and effective strategies for regulation.
Labeling Emotions
Emotions can be granularly expressed as, for example, being “peeved” rather than “enraged”, which helps in applying appropriate strategies for regulation [00:15:00].
Regulating Emotions
Regulating emotions involves both conscious and subconscious strategies to manage and modify our emotional states. Here are some methods discussed by Dr. Brackett:
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Reappraisal Techniques: Involves changing the way you think about a situation to alter its emotional impact. For instance, if you’re feeling anxious about an uncertain future, reframing the scenario into a focus on aspects within your control can diminish anxiety [01:08:00].
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Distancing Strategies: This involves observing a situation from a third-person perspective, which helps in understanding one’s emotions without being overwhelmed by them. Dr. Brackett uses the technique of imagining someone’s behavior as a movie scene to distance himself from immediate emotional reactions [02:18:00].
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Emotional Check-ins: Frequent self-assessments of mood using tools like mood meters or apps (such as “How We Feel”) allow for tracking emotional states across time and contexts, enhancing emotional self-awareness and regulation [02:03:00].
The RULER Approach
The full RULER approach involves:
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Expressing emotions aptly, considering the context, and cultural nuances to maintain healthy and effective communication.
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Regulating emotions effectively through strategies tailored to specific emotional experiences, whether it’s high-energy or low-energy, pleasant or unpleasant.
The Mood Meter
A tool for identifying emotional states based on perceived energy and pleasantness levels, helping to decide subsequent strategies for emotional regulation [01:01:00].
Developing the skills to recognize and regulate emotions can profoundly affect how we navigate our daily lives, improve interpersonal relationships, and foster mental well-being. As Dr. Brackett suggests, emotional intelligence is a dynamic and learnable skill set that enhances both personal and professional aspects of life.