From: alexhormozi
Many individuals mistakenly treat happiness as a fixed achievement, similar to eating so well one is never hungry again, or sleeping so well one never needs to sleep again [00:00:31]. This view, however, misunderstands the nature of happiness, which is more akin to a continuous state rather than a checkbox to be ticked off [00:00:46].
The Problem with Obsessing Over Happiness
Ironically, those who obsess most about happiness often end up being the least happy [00:00:55]. Setting happiness as a goal automatically positions it as something external to oneself, creating a constant gap between the present state and the desired future state [00:01:08]. This pursuit can lead to a cycle of constant self-analysis and rumination, as one continually questions whether current activities are making them happy [00:07:47].
For example, the speaker recounts quitting pre-med because he felt biology didn’t make him happy, only to realize later that enjoyment often follows mastery, not precedes it [00:07:53]. When one is learning a new skill, a period of “sucking at it” is inevitable, and expecting immediate happiness during this phase is unrealistic [00:08:06].
A Call to Reframe Your Approach
If current strategies aren’t working, consider this approach:
- Stop trying to be happy: Give up the pursuit of happiness as a direct goal and accept the possibility of being unhappy without it defining your existence [00:08:47].
- Focus on usefulness: Shift focus to how you can be useful to other people [00:09:06]. This inherently involves self-improvement and a service element, moving attention away from oneself and towards external tasks and individuals [00:06:54].
By doing this, individuals often find themselves feeling better overall, as the self-reflection and rumination associated with depression become less active [00:09:17].
The Power of Usefulness and Hard Work
For many, especially men, usefulness can be a more fulfilling goal than happiness [00:05:00]. Being useful earns respect, which is a key driver for many men, more so than love [00:04:52]. Usefulness is an attractive trait, indicating a contributing member of society [00:05:06].
Skill mastery, achieved through consistent effort, is central to becoming useful [00:05:25]. Unlike luck, skills provide a sense of security; if everything is lost, the ability to rebuild remains [00:05:50]. This perspective also reduces stress, as confidence stems from a “stack of undeniable proof” of one’s capabilities, not just affirmations [00:18:02].
Embracing the Process, Not Just the Outcome
True mastery and fulfillment come from an intrinsic love for the work itself, rather than solely the external rewards [00:24:16]. This means being willing to “suck for a long time” before becoming good, a meta-skill often learned by athletes who practice extensively before achieving mastery [00:14:06].
The speaker emphasizes the “input-output equation”: identifying the specific actions that lead to skill improvement and then dedicating as much effort as possible to them [00:17:23]. For example, in writing, this means endless editing and rewriting [00:17:01].
“Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are. Outwork your self-doubt” [00:17:59].
The Long Game: Commitment and Excellence
Excellence is achieved through deep engagement and repetition, not just quick wins [01:06:48]. This value of focused effort and consistency allows one to discover nuances and subtleties in their craft that others miss [01:06:50].
Achieving this level of excellence requires significant commitment and focus, often meaning sacrificing other pursuits [01:14:09]. Everything that doesn’t contribute to the core input-output equation is considered interference and should be minimized or outsourced [00:13:11]. This relentless focus is why top performers often concentrate on one primary thing, recognizing the immense time investment required for true mastery [00:31:01].
The “one of zero” brand philosophy embodies this idea: doing an unprecedented amount of work that most people cannot comprehend [00:32:40]. It’s about pushing one’s capacity for work, not for an external goal, but for the sake of the work itself [00:45:39].
The Fallacy of “Done” and “Work-Life Balance”
The belief that one can reach a point of “being done”—never needing to work, eat, or sleep again—is a fallacy [00:41:43]. Life is an ongoing process of challenges and growth [00:41:32]. Pursuing a perfect “work-life balance” that eliminates work is also an illusion; humans are “built to work” [00:42:57].
Joy, in this context, is seen as being present in the moment, rather than the hedonistic pursuit of pleasure [00:35:50]. Hedonistic lifestyles, which prioritize short-term pleasure at the expense of long-term goals, often lead to emptiness and lack of fulfillment [00:37:19].
Reframing Desire and Obstacles
The philosophy that “desire is a contract we make with ourselves to be unhappy until we get what we want” highlights how goals, by definition, create a state of deprivation [00:38:15]. However, if the goal is to continuously seek challenges and improve, then winning or achieving a specific outcome becomes less significant than the ongoing process [00:39:29].
Obstacles and hardships should be reframed as opportunities for self-improvement and future stories of triumph [00:55:08]. Even “junk work”—initial, seemingly unproductive effort—is valuable as it contributes to learning and refinement [01:13:21]. Every effort yields “profit” because the work inevitably shapes and improves the individual [01:14:41].
Avoiding the “Perfect Pick” Fallacy
People often make two mistakes when starting a career or new endeavor:
- Searching for pre-existing passion: Passion is not found; it is created through consistent effort and becoming skilled at something [01:19:56].
- Believing in a “perfect pick”: Life is long, and career paths change. The first choice is rarely the last [01:20:18].
Instead, focus on “approximation” – getting directionally correct, then iterating and learning [01:20:25]. Skills learned in seemingly unrelated fields can provide unique advantages later on, akin to Steve Jobs using calligraphy knowledge for Mac fonts [01:21:50].
This process requires avoiding complacency and continuously pushing one’s limits, even when it feels uncomfortable [00:49:04]. The “universal currency of respect” is effort [01:18:17]. Many underestimate their own potential because they haven’t learned how to truly exert effort and endure the initial period of “sucking” [01:09:02]. For instance, the average person is often in debt and overweight, making it relatively easy to be “above average” by simply addressing these areas, which requires consistent effort and a willingness to overcome initial difficulties [01:12:04]. Overcoming debt and improving physical health both fall under this principle.
The Inner Dialogue: Solomon
The speaker engages in an internal dialogue with “future me,” whom he calls Solomon [00:58:09]. This self-counseling allows for unbiased, direct advice without the emotional interference of the present moment or external misaligned incentives [00:57:04]. This practice, facilitated by documenting thoughts, helps navigate complex decisions and reinforces the long-term perspective on effort and growth [00:58:24]. It also allows for flexible session lengths, tailored to the problem at hand [00:59:34].
Ultimately, the journey of striving, learning, and putting in the work becomes its own reward, fostering a deeper sense of personal fulfillment than the mere pursuit of a fleeting emotion called happiness. The goal isn’t just to work, but to understand “how hard you can work and how well you can work and how right you can make things” [00:45:39]. This continuous expansion of capacity, divorced from specific outcomes, allows for a self-fulfilling loop where consistent effort naturally leads to outsized results [00:45:48].