From: alexhormozi
Achieving financial success often involves navigating the influence of one’s social circle, which can either support or hinder progress [00:41:35]. The journey out of poverty, in particular, requires a re-evaluation of relationships and a willingness to make difficult choices for long-term growth [00:06:06].
Overcoming External Validation and Judgment
A significant obstacle on the path to financial success is the need to confront external judgments and the desire for social approval [00:02:53]. The speaker recounts experiences of being patronized after taking a minimum wage job following a white-collar career, highlighting the difficulty of humbling oneself in the face of others’ perceptions [00:03:07].
Instead of reacting with anger or trying to “humiliate them back,” the speaker learned to prioritize their financial goals over immediate emotional gratification [00:03:53]. This developed a “skin” necessary to pay rent and pursue objectives [00:04:08].
The concept of being “right or rich” is central to this mindset shift [00:15:12]. Holding onto blame for past circumstances or external factors, even if factually correct, gives power away and prevents progress [00:14:25]. Embracing the “victim frame” or the “powerless frame” might offer short-term comfort and the satisfaction of being “right” when things don’t work out, but it guarantees long-term failure [00:22:54].
The Role of Friends and Social Circles
The impact of friendships on personal growth and success is profound [00:41:35]. The speaker suggests evaluating friends based on whether they “increase or decrease the possibility of failure” with one’s goals [00:41:52]. If a friend decreases the possibility of success, it might be necessary to “get rid of them” [00:42:08].
This can be a difficult decision, as many people maintain friendships out of habit rather than intentional alignment with their aspirations [00:42:48]. Friends who are not pursuing their own goals or who are content with their current state might become “negative experience points” by slowing one down or weakening their efforts [00:42:24].
Social Obligations vs. Social Consequences
A key insight is that there are “no social obligations, only social consequences” [00:43:20]. If someone feels obligated to attend an event they don’t want to, the “punishment” for not going is often that they won’t be invited again in the future [00:43:54]. This can be seen as a “win-win,” saving time in the present and future for productive pursuits [00:44:01].
By thinking about “second and third order outcomes,” individuals can recognize that offending or “breaking up” with friends often brings them closer to their goals [00:44:24].
“If you don’t like their life, don’t listen to what they say. Don’t take their advice if you don’t like what you see.” [00:45:15]
This implies a need to actively choose who influences one’s beliefs and actions [00:45:06].
The Lonely Middle Path
The speaker describes a “lonely” period where one is not yet successful enough for a new tier of friends but has become too different from their old social circle [00:45:48]. This loneliness, however, provides “time,” which is the most valuable asset for someone starting with little money [00:45:50]. This time can be used to acquire skills, which are then traded for income [00:45:53].
Practical Steps to Changing Your Financial Trajectory
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Own Your Situation: The foundational step is to accept that your current circumstances are “my fault” [00:13:56]. This isn’t about self-blame but about reclaiming power. As long as blame is cast elsewhere, power is also cast away [00:14:36]. This is the base layer upon which all other success is built [00:16:49].
“You cannot both desire to get better and also maintain blame. You have to pick.” [00:31:31]
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Utilize What You Have: Rather than waiting for ideal circumstances or resources, use what is available, even if it’s just “anger, shame, or pain” [00:46:45]. The speaker used “sheer anger” and the desire to prove “People Back Home” wrong as a powerful motivator [00:02:50].
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Invest in Skills: Wealthy individuals focus on acquiring skills and continually reinvesting to gain more [00:29:16]. This means taking any excess income and spending it on learning and experimentation [00:25:52].
- Experience Points: Failed experiments or attempts are not losses but “experience points” that contribute to leveling up [00:27:50].
- Selling: Money is made by providing value to others voluntarily [00:30:11]. This can involve selling products (at a margin for convenience) or selling skills/outcomes (expertise) [00:32:03]. Affiliate programs are a good starting point for learning sales [00:31:40].
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Embrace Pain for Future Gain: Poor individuals often delay pain by prioritizing pleasure today, leading to greater pain tomorrow [00:13:11]. The path to success involves “eating the glass” – enduring significant discomfort and effort in the present to “get ahead” and “take as much of the pain from tomorrow as you can today” [00:05:27].
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is less than the pain of change.” [00:40:07]
This involves “Future Pacing” by actively imagining the negative consequences of inaction to make the present discomfort of change more tolerable [00:40:23].
Conclusion
The journey to financial success is a demanding one, requiring extreme effort and a willingness to make social sacrifices [00:05:08]. By taking ownership, leveraging available resources, continuously learning, and accepting short-term pain for long-term gain, individuals can navigate the challenges posed by their social environment and achieve their financial aspirations [00:46:10].