From: alexhormozi
The choice between facing immediate fear and risking future regret is a foundational aspect of progress and decision-making . The life one lives often depends on which of these two fears is most prominent .
Overcoming Fear to Pursue Goals
Even successful individuals experience fear. The key distinction lies in prioritizing the fear of regret over the fear of rejection . This means acknowledging that the potential pain of looking back and wishing one had acted outweighs the immediate discomfort of potential failure or disapproval .
A personal example illustrates this: the speaker took six months from deciding to quit a management consulting job to actually doing so . This delay highlights a measure of personal power: the shorter the distance between making a decision and acting on it, the more effective one is . The motivation to finally make the jump stemmed from not wanting to be ashamed of a life lived without taking necessary risks .
Confronting Vague Fears
Fear often thrives in ambiguity. By breaking down a daunting situation into specific, actionable steps, the amorphous nature of fear dissipates . For example, considering a “Plan B” by playing out the next two or three steps can reveal that the actual downside risk, particularly in developed Western societies, is often not as severe as imagined . It’s rarely about actual death, but more about the potential opinions of others who might view a failure negatively . Ultimately, trying and failing often leads to learning, not total ruin .
The speaker’s own decision to quit was influenced by realizing he had no major financial responsibilities, no girlfriend, and no kids. This presented a unique window of opportunity, as he reasoned that if he couldn’t take the risk then, he never would, given that responsibilities are likely to increase over time .
The Pain-Gain Matrix
Life presents a choice between short-term pain or gain, and long-term pain or gain .
- Comfort provides a short-term gain but often leads to long-term regret .
- Fear is a short-term pain that can open the door to long-term fulfillment .
The optimal strategy is to trade short-term pains for long-term gains, rather than opting for short-term gains that result in long-term pains . Avoiding difficult conversations or decisions might seem like a “safe bet” in the short term, but it often guarantees a loss later on .
Rejection vs. Regret
At some point, individuals must choose to either risk rejection in the present or guarantee regret in the future . Those who fear rejection often lose, while those who fear regret are more likely to succeed .
Failure is an inherent part of success, acting as a prerequisite for achievement . As the speaker states, “Greatness rejects all first-time applicants” . This is analogous to a job search: securing one’s current job likely involved numerous applications, interviews, and rejections . Starting a business requires a similar tolerance for rejection . The true challenge is whether one can handle the regret years later for not having taken the leap .
Champions in any field often hate losing more than they love winning . Their expectation of winning comes from their intense preparation and consistent effort, leading to relief upon victory rather than pure excitement .