Ethical guidelines for reframing in sales

From: alexhormozi

Reframing is a crucial sales skill that involves saying one to three sentences after a prospect expresses anything other than a “yes” to increase the likelihood of them buying the next thing you say [00:00:17]. This technique can be applied in various sales scenarios, from $100 items to million-dollar service packages, across in-person, phone, Zoom, or stage interactions [00:01:43].

The goal of reframing is to maintain rapport and control of the conversation, allowing the salesperson to continue asking for the sale without alienating the prospect [00:03:08]. The most productive salespeople ask for the sale more times than others [00:02:45].

The 3A Framework for Reframing

The 3A framework consists of three steps:

1. Acknowledge [00:03:23]:

   • Restate what the prospect said to build rapport and demonstrate active listening [00:03:30].
   • This also provides time to think about the next response [00:03:40].
   • Example: Prospect asks about trainer certifications. Salesperson: “So you’re curious about what our certifications are” [00:05:00].

2. Associate [00:03:58]:

   • Associate the prospect’s question or statement with the behavior of someone who gets the best results from the product or service [00:04:05].
   • This makes the prospect feel they are taking a step towards buying, even if their statement initially seemed like an objection [00:04:14].
   • Example: Salesperson: “It’s a great question, it actually shows that you’re a really rational person and you’re making a serious decision here, which is amazing” [00:05:04].

3. Ask [00:04:30]:

   • After acknowledging and associating, ask a question about the prospect’s original question to maintain control of the conversation [00:00:49], [00:04:44].
   • Example: Salesperson: “Which certifications are you looking for specifically?” [00:05:26]. This “attacks the frame” of the original question [00:05:24].

Five Rules for Ethical Reframing

Rule 1: Prospects Believe What They Say, Not What You Say

The goal in sales is not to tell prospects they are a good fit, but to ask questions so they conclude it themselves [00:07:02].

• Avoid “Do you have any questions?” This phrase invites objections and cedes control of the conversation [00:07:45].
• Maintain control: As soon as you start answering questions, the prospect becomes the judge of your answers [00:07:56].
• Use analogies for clarity:
  • Secretary/Surgeon: “It would be like you asking the secretary about how your heart surgery is going to be with the surgeon; you’re going to want to talk to the surgeon” [00:08:21].
  • Mechanic: “You’re asking me what’s wrong with your car and it would be unethical for me to answer it without looking under the hood first” [00:08:28].
• Ethical high ground: It is unethical to give definitive answers without proper assessment. Emphasize that anyone who does so on a first call is merely trying to make a sale [00:08:50].

Rule 2: No One Can Disagree with a Question

Think of sales as “being like smoke” – constantly shifting the interaction by asking questions, making it impossible for the prospect to directly disagree [00:09:04].

• Avoid arguments: You never win a sale by winning an argument, both parties lose [00:09:47].
• Change minds agreeably: Prospects do not change their minds when feeling insulted [00:10:00]. This is achieved by asking questions without appearing insulting [00:10:07].
• Ask more questions: If unsure how to answer a question, ask more questions about their question [00:10:31].
• Examples:
  • Prospect: “I need to think about it.” Salesperson: “Totally understand, what are the main things you’re considering?” [00:10:42]
  • “What’s your main concern?” [00:10:46]
  • “What are you most afraid of having happen?” [00:10:48]
  • “What would make this a no?” [00:10:51]
  • “What would it take for you to say yes?” [00:10:53]

Rule 3: Tell Them What Their Question Means (Deep Dive on Association)

This rule is about effectively associating and amplifying positive statements to influence the prospect’s perception of themselves and the interaction [00:13:25].

• Anticipate objections: Salespeople should never be caught off guard by prospect questions or statements, as they have had many similar conversations [00:13:54].
• Ethical foundation: Good selling means selling to qualified prospects by stating the facts and telling the truth [00:14:15]. If the prospect is qualified, there is an ethical obligation to guide them towards a beneficial decision [00:14:37].
• Comfort with conflict: The best salespeople are comfortable in situations others perceive as conflict, and they de-escalate [00:14:56].
• Sales as a “dance”: Sales is about seduction, not force; there must always be consent from the prospect [00:15:07].
• Build rapport through validation: People like those who ask about them, compliment them, and validate their questions (e.g., “that’s a smart question,” “that’s reasonable,” “rational decision,” “fair point”) [00:15:15]. This makes prospects feel heard and intelligent [00:19:17].
• Prefacing hard truths: Prefacing difficult statements with validation allows you to deliver “hard truths” faster without causing offense [00:20:10].

Rule 4: Use Straw Men for Tough Truths

When a prospect’s beliefs are flawed, or a “harsh truth” needs to be delivered, use a “straw man” technique to deliver it indirectly, preventing insult [00:15:33].

• Avoid superiority: Don’t put yourself above the prospect (e.g., “Can I put my coach hat on?”). This can be perceived negatively, especially by older, more successful prospects [00:15:43].

• Three Straw Man Strategies:

  1. Refer to “someone else”: “It’s so funny you ask that because I had someone just earlier today who asked the same questions. Can I share with you what I just shared with them?” This allows brutal honesty towards the third party, not the prospect [00:16:51].
  2. Refer to a “successful past customer”: “That actually makes you just like Sarah who had a similar plumbing business and actually crushed it with our marketing agency” [00:17:19]. This associates the prospect with success.
  3. Appeal to authority: “It’s so funny that you ask that, Alex just told me this thing earlier today. Can I share it with you?” [00:18:41]. The salesperson acts as a messenger, sharing insights from an edified figure rather than their own opinion [00:18:49].

• These techniques create a neutral third party, allowing for agreeable explanations and breaking unhelpful beliefs [00:18:06]. This allows for tough truths to be shared without breaking rapport, making people like being sold by you [00:19:02].

Rule 5: Retain Childlike Curiosity

Maintain a tone of genuine curiosity and desire to understand, rather than to win an argument [00:21:03].

• Verbal cues: Use sounds like “Huh” and phrases like “That’s so interesting you’d ask that question, can I ask you a little bit more about that?” [00:20:47]. This buys time and signals an open mind.
• “Keep the human number one”: Genuinely believe that your product will help the qualified prospect [00:21:13]. If you know it’s the right decision for them, seek to understand their concerns to help them overcome them [00:21:33].
• Empathy (time travel analogy): Imagine traveling back in time to convince your past self to buy something you know will be immensely valuable (e.g., Nvidia stock, Bitcoin) [00:21:40]. You would approach with empathy and seek to understand their concerns, focusing on the prospect, not just the product [00:22:10].
• Make the prospect “right”: Sales are closed by making the prospect feel right, not by winning an argument [00:23:33]. The goal is to make money, not to be right [00:22:50].
• Be a guide: Position yourself as a helpful guide who shares information to assist them in making a good decision [00:23:00].
• Labeling and reinforcement: Give prospects positive labels (e.g., “honest,” “smart,” “good family man”) early in the conversation and bring them back up during the close to reinforce why they should buy [00:23:17], [00:23:48]. This pairs their initial obstacles with reasons to buy [00:23:54].

Universal Response / Pro Tip

A powerful universal response, especially deeper in the sale, is “What are you most afraid of?” [00:24:20]. For initial objections, questions like “What’s your main concern?” or “What are the variables you’re using to make the decision?” are useful for triaging [00:24:28]. If a prospect needs more time, ask “What would make it a no?” [00:24:46]. These questions keep the conversation going and move the prospect towards a decision, provided rapport has been established [00:24:51]. These sales tactics to build trust enable closing deals effectively.