Tubegraph

Decisionmaking power and personal development

10 min read

From: alexhormozi

Everyone is always “one decision away from changing our lives forever” [00:00:00]. If previous decisions have led to an undesirable current state, they were “not good decisions” [00:00:09]. To gain more power in life, it’s crucial to understand what power is and how to unlock it through actions and decisions [00:00:11]. This applies to influencing others in business or making decisions that improve one’s own life [00:00:20].

The Speaker’s Journey

The speaker, who owns Acquisition.com [00:00:31], shared that ten years ago, he was “sleeping on a gym floor” [00:00:33]. His life has since “gone significantly better” [00:00:44] due to a series of events and decisions that made “massive differences” [00:00:51]. After a speech on this topic, hundreds of people reported taking “huge strides” in their lives and becoming “more powerful” [00:01:01].

Defining Power

Power, in this context, is defined as “the ability to influence or direct events or people” [00:04:59]. It is a neutral force that “amplifies who we are” [00:04:40]. If one is a “shitty person,” power makes them “very very shitty,” but if they are “very good,” it makes them “very very good” [00:04:44]. The aspiration should be to have more power in our lives [00:04:50].

Decision Making in Sales

The speaker’s approach to sales is primarily “logical selling,” focusing on “selling with logic to make lots of money” [00:03:05]. The goal in sales is not just to get a “yes I’m going to buy,” but “yes I’m going to decide” [00:04:30]. This approach aims to empower the prospect [00:04:40]. Emotional buyers may get excited and buy, but “when the emotions fade, the logic will continue” [00:06:19], leading to a “great customer” [00:06:32].

Key Beliefs About Selling and Decision-Making

The speaker outlined several beliefs that have been instrumental in his success:

  1. People want to believe you [00:07:39]: Help their logical brains justify decisions they already want to make [00:07:41].
  2. Selling happens before you ask for the sale [00:07:45]: Closing happens after [00:07:49].
  3. It’s easier to handle obstacles than objections [00:08:06]: Obstacles occur before the sale is solicited, while objections are disagreements after [00:21:09].
  4. Expect and plan for “no” [00:08:15]: “No is the job” [00:08:33] because if they could decide on their own, they wouldn’t need help [00:08:38].
  5. If you didn’t get a gasp from a price tag, you didn’t go high enough [00:09:00]: A higher initial price can set a “beautiful price anchor” [00:09:16].
  6. Selling properly is the first step to becoming a coach [00:09:43]: It sets expectations and dictates the relationship [00:09:48].
  7. Selling is helping prospects make decisions for themselves [00:09:56]: It’s about empowering them to help themselves [00:10:03].
  8. Keep the prospect, not the sale, as the priority [00:10:10]: Magnify them, not yourself [00:10:19].
  9. Seek to understand, not to argue [00:10:35]: Approach with “childlike curiosity” [00:10:41] when a prospect objects.
  10. Closing is a dance, not a fight [00:11:19]: The goal is not to “beat them into submission” but to help them [00:11:29].
  11. Selling is a transference of belief over a bridge of trust [00:11:47]: You must believe and have trust to transfer belief [00:11:53].
  12. You can only build trust if you generally want to help [00:12:52]: Humans are good at sniffing out intention [00:12:55].
  13. Belief and trust are a continuum, not binaries [00:13:06]: It’s about how deeply one believes or trusts [00:13:12].
  14. Closers ask hard questions [00:13:32]: This is because they genuinely care and aim for transformation [00:13:34].
  15. The person who cares the most about the prospect wins the sale [00:13:55]: This includes caring more about their well-being than they do themselves [00:14:02].
  16. Record all your sales calls [00:14:14]: This helps analyze successes and train new team members [00:14:15].
  17. Power is the ability to direct or influence people [00:14:40]: Understanding this skill is crucial to being powerful [00:14:43].

The Power of Closing

Closing, or everything you do after asking someone to buy [00:15:11], is a high predictor of business success [00:15:23]. Just like in the NFL, where top red zone offenses (those who close) make the playoffs 90% of the time [00:15:35], the ability to close can compensate for many deficiencies in other areas of life and business [00:16:04]. The focus is on the “middle 80%” of prospects [00:17:12] – those who don’t always buy and don’t always say no [00:16:36].

Sources of Powerlessness: The Onion of Blame

People often cast their power to “sources outside of our control” [00:18:17], which are essentially “distortions of reality” [00:27:29]. Based on Dr. Albert Ellis’s work on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) [00:27:01], these distortions fall into three core categories:

  1. Circumstances: “I must get what I want when I want it” [00:27:42].
  2. Others: “Other people must treat me fairly and kindly” [00:27:56].
  3. Self: “I must do well or else I am no good” [00:28:06].

These manifest as an “onion of blame” [00:28:34]:

  • Outer Layer: Blaming circumstances (time, money) [00:28:41].
  • Middle Layer: Blaming other people (spouse, kids, employees) [00:28:46].
  • Core Layer: Blaming oneself (“it’s me, it’s my fault”) [00:28:50].

The goal is to peel back these layers to get to the truth [00:28:53].

Five Common Excuses (Manifestations of Distortions)

These core distortions manifest in five common excuses or “scapegoats” [00:29:30]:

1. Time (“Not a good time,” “too busy”) [00:29:29]

  • Macro (Busy Season): If you want long-term success and will be busy in the future, it’s best to start now. Learning when busy means you can sustain it forever [00:32:57].
  • Micro (No Time in Day): People often waste time on unproductive activities. It’s not about adding more to your plate, but removing what isn’t working [00:34:02]. Jeff Bezos has the same amount of time as everyone else [00:34:34].
  • “When Then” Fallacy: The belief “when I have X, then I will do Y” flips the sequence. For example, “I’ll start saving money once I’m rich” [00:35:36]. This is a distortion, not reality [00:36:17].

2. Value/Price/Money (“Can’t afford it,” “too expensive”) [00:30:32]

  • Why a Lot is Good: If it’s a lot of money to you, it means you’ll be “all in” and have a higher likelihood of success [00:38:09].
  • Why it’s Not a Lot (Relatively): Compare the cost to the potential value. If an investment adds $10,000/month or helps achieve a major life goal, it’s worth it [00:38:50].
  • What’s Money Good For?: You’re going to spend the money anyway. The question is whether you’ll spend it on things that don’t get you anywhere, or on things that help you grow [00:40:46]. You pay either with money or with time [00:40:55].
  • Resourceful, Not Resources: Self-made millionaires and billionaires started with nothing [00:43:51]. People have the ability to be resourceful when needed, especially for others, so they should apply that to themselves [00:45:34].

3. Fit (“Not sure if it’s for me”) [00:30:35]

  • New Identity, New Priorities: What you spend money and time on reveals your priorities and future [00:46:49]. To achieve new goals, one must step into a new identity with new priorities [00:48:34].
  • Change the Change: What you’ve been doing has led to your current results [00:49:59]. To change, you must change your actions. The question is whether “the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change” [00:50:39].
  • Hypothetical: Ask: “If this were perfect, would you do it?” [00:52:07] If yes, then address what’s different. If no, then the issue is likely trust [00:52:26].

4. Authority (“Have to talk to my partner/spouse”) [00:30:46]

  • Support, Not Permission: If your partner supports your struggle, they should support a solution [00:55:03]. If the roles were reversed, you’d support them [00:55:24].
  • Taking Ownership: Asking for permission gives away your power [00:55:46]. Not owning your decision can lead to resentment [00:56:07]. Doctors go to medical school, lawyers to law school, but entrepreneurs lack a formal school; they learn from others’ accumulated experience [00:56:35].

5. Avoidance/Stall (“I need to think about it”) [00:30:53]

  • Past: This isn’t a fast decision; you’ve been making it for years [01:01:17]. Don’t let a past bad investment or experience “burn you twice” [01:02:48] by preventing a good one [01:03:07]. Don’t be “tired of another year of almost” [01:04:43]; calculate “the cost of inaction” [01:05:15].
  • Present: “It doesn’t take information to make decisions, it takes information” [01:06:33]. If you are the sole source of information, waiting won’t help [01:06:52]. To make a decision, a prospect must believe three things:
    1. The product/service will achieve the goal [01:07:11].
    2. You will fulfill your word [01:07:46].
    3. It will work for them [01:07:55]. Once these are affirmed, the only remaining question is access to the money [01:08:13]. An “informed decision” can often only be made once inside the program, which is why guarantees are helpful [01:08:52].
  • Future: Magnify the pain of continued inaction [01:10:30]. Compare options: doing the thing and getting results, or not doing it and staying stuck [01:10:56]. If you’re going to fix your problem eventually, “you might as well start fixing it now” to enjoy benefits sooner [01:12:01]. The question is not about perfection, but if a decision will get you “closer or further from your goal” [01:12:38].

Bonus Overcome: “The Reason You Are Telling Yourself Not To Do This Is The Reason You Do It” [01:13:38]

The very reason someone is holding themselves back (e.g., “I can’t afford this,” “I don’t have time,” “I’m dependent on my spouse”) is often the biggest chain holding them back [01:14:02]. Breaking that chain returns power [01:14:07].

Investing in Personal Growth and Mentorship

Fortunes are created by taking a lot of risk with a little bit of money [01:14:37]. The speaker emphasized that everything he has achieved is a result of investing in his own education [01:14:56]. This has yielded “far higher returns than any stock, any real estate, any crypto” [01:15:04]. Buying experience and skills cannot be taken away by governments, divorce, or any external force [01:15:16].

The “time tax of ignorance” [01:19:20] is the number one tax no one respects [01:19:13]. Not knowing how to achieve a goal (e.g., making a million dollars a year) is actively costing that amount [01:18:37]. The goal is to pay down this “time tax of ignorance as fast as humanly possible” by educating and investing in oneself [01:19:49], specifically in experiences that build skills [01:19:58].

Conclusion

Ultimately, “superman is not coming; it’s just you” [01:18:05]. Every decision is a vote for or against the person you want to be [01:18:09]. Rapid progress comes from “buying time” [01:18:25] – by buying the time it took others to make mistakes and learn lessons [01:18:29].

There are “no silver bullets” and “no program is going to save your life” [01:20:25], but some things can move you closer to your goals [01:20:29]. When rare opportunities arise, take them, because “either you win or you learn, and both of those get you closer” [01:20:37]. The speaker’s personal journey, starting with no money and investing in a $10,000 mastermind without a gym [01:22:08], put him on the right path towards success, demonstrating the power of a single, committed decision [01:22:51].

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