From: alexhormozi
Ignoring Critics
The most brutally honest advice for a younger self is that one can beat 99% of people by continuing to work without needing an immediate reward [00:00:00]. Success is the only revenge against critics; as you expand, they shrink into irrelevance, and as you get louder, no one can hear them [00:11:51]. There is no greater waste of time than justifying your actions to people who have a life you don’t want [00:12:02]. There is no amount of pain you can inflict on a hater that will be more painful than their own life [00:12:08].
After losing $25 million due to focusing on a competitor, the speaker swore never to let someone else dictate their behavior [00:12:47]. “Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners” [00:13:00].
Understanding Hate as Feedback
If someone is behind you, their hate is often envy [00:16:40].
- Envy is wanting something someone else has [00:16:44].
- Jealousy is fearing losing something you already possess [00:16:47].
Regardless of whether someone is ahead or behind, their emotions don’t matter [00:17:04]. Hate can be seen as feedback: “I see hate as feedback, nothing more nothing less” [00:17:08]. It’s important to consider the validity of feedback [00:17:11]. For example, if someone accuses you of copying them when you’ve never met, it’s likely untrue [00:17:17]. If everyone ahead is afraid you’ll beat them, that’s good data. If everyone behind is envious, that’s also good data [00:17:55]. The problem comes from the second layer of judgment, where people ascribe meaning to the feedback instead of just taking it as data [00:18:09].
Dealing with Competition
Instead of focusing on competitors, winners focus on customers [00:13:05]. When competitors try to copy you, they are distracted from their customers, looking at you instead [00:13:09]. If anyone copies you, you’ve already won because they need you, and you don’t need them [00:13:17]. You should be afraid when people stop copying you, as it means you have nothing [00:13:20]. Copying is a positive sign that you are on the right path [00:13:26].
The “pie” of opportunity is much larger than most people think [00:14:02]. For example, in Atlanta, there were 1,500 gyms, and even with 45 Gym Launch gyms, the rest of the market was still available [00:14:00].
Competition as a Growth Catalyst
If you view yourself as the output of your life, then competition is good for you [00:14:09]. Looking back at your life, you would not wish for an existence with no challenges, no tests, or no need to risk it all [00:14:12]. We don’t like going through it in the short term, but we desire the outcome [00:14:25]. If you accept that adversity is the price tag for the person you want to be, you pay it willingly [00:14:28].
People are often happy when you quit a job to start a business because it “counts you out of the race” due to the low likelihood of success [00:15:09]. This step back in income and status temporarily increases their relative standing, leading them to encourage you [00:15:17]. However, as you succeed, your progress reminds them of the dreams they didn’t pursue, especially if you started with similar resources [00:15:40]. This is why it’s hard for many to go home, as their success becomes a glaring example of what others could have done but didn’t [00:15:51].
Overcoming Internal Hurdles
Fear of Failure vs. Fear of Judgment
People are not afraid of failing; they are afraid of what others will think of them when they fail [00:31:31]. The reality is that if others don’t have what you want, their opinion doesn’t matter [00:20:43].
Sadness, Anxiety, and Disappointment
- Sadness comes from a lack of options, leading to hopelessness [00:18:19]. It indicates you don’t know what to do because you don’t know anything to do [00:18:49].
- Anxiety stems from having many options but a lack of priorities, resulting in paralysis [00:18:21]. It means you don’t know which option to pursue [00:18:51].
Solutions:
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Solve sadness with knowledge [00:18:29].
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Solve anxiety with a decision [00:18:30].
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Disappointment occurs when an expectation is unmet [00:19:07]. To overcome this, you can either change your expectations or change reality [00:19:08]. The stoic approach is to imagine all the ways things could have gone worse [00:19:09] or to imagine the disappointing event happening a thousand times until your expectations adjust [00:19:09].
Self-Identity as Reward
The biggest internal shift during difficult times is realizing that “I am the output of my work” [00:32:32]. All effort goes into creating who you want to become, and this self-creation can be a daily reward, rather than seeking approval from strangers [00:03:34].
When something disappointing happens, focus on “What type of person do I want to be in this instance?” and “What would that man do?” [00:19:38]. Aligning your behavior with that ideal self leads to more joy, even in shitty situations [00:19:44].
Valuing Advice
The fastest way to move forward in life is to listen to people who can give advice that helps you progress faster, avoiding the need to suffer and waste time learning lessons yourself [00:20:56].
Seven Levels of Advice
To navigate who to trust, consider these seven levels of advice [00:21:12]:
- Level 7: Comments on social media from strangers who don’t know you and don’t have what you want [00:21:17].
- Level 6: People giving their “two cents” who know you but don’t have what you want [00:21:23].
- Level 5: Someone who knows you and knows someone who went where you’re trying to go [00:21:27].
- Level 4: Someone who has been there themselves [00:21:32].
- Level 3: Someone who took someone else there [00:21:34].
- Level 2: Someone who took someone just like you to exactly where you want to go [00:21:36].
- Level 1: Someone who has been there, took someone else there just like you, multiple times [00:21:40].
It’s more trustworthy to receive advice from someone who has successfully guided others, as it suggests they can replicate the process for you [00:21:45]. An individual who has only achieved success for themselves might not be a good teacher (e.g., Michael Jordan’s success as a player vs. his record as a team owner) [00:21:54].