From: alexhormozi
An entrepreneur and his wife have successfully built six multi-eight-figure companies over the last five years, with their current portfolio generating approximately $85 million annually [00:00:00]. They also run Acquisition.com [00:00:06]. This article explores their philosophy on work, fulfillment, and the unique dynamics of building businesses as a married couple.
Redefining Work-Life Balance
The common notion of “work-life balance” is challenged, with the perspective that individuals have “one life” lived on their own terms [00:00:28]. The speaker enjoys working, viewing it as a source of stimulation, and believes one should work if it brings more enjoyment than not working [00:00:35]. If an activity becomes a trade-off, adjustments can be made [00:00:43]. For this entrepreneur, work is not a chore; he even prefers to work on his birthday [00:00:58]. This perspective aligns with the idea of doing what you love, blurring the lines between work and living [00:01:15].
The Pursuit of Purpose and Options
In 2021, despite owning companies that generated significant cash flow, the speaker experienced a “miserable year” because he did nothing [00:01:31]. He found himself questioning the point of accumulating wealth if it couldn’t be spent or put to purpose [00:01:41].
Finding Meaning Through Creation
Re-engaging with building infrastructure and hiring teams for Acquisition.com brought immense joy and meaning, demonstrating that the act of creation and building itself is a primary motivator [00:01:54].
The speaker’s philosophy is that he “works to create options, not to not work” [00:02:22]. While many work hard to eventually stop working, his goal is to have the option to work, making the choice to work a form of freedom [00:02:27]. After reaching a point of extreme financial security, the only thing he wanted to do was the work that got him there, as it is what he finds meaningful [00:02:42].
Marriage and Business Growth
When it comes to marriage and building businesses, the speaker offers strong, unconventional views. He challenges the belief that marriage is inherently a compromise, stating it’s a “belief statement” rather than a fact [00:04:39].
Working Dynamics in Relationships
Two primary relationship dynamics are observed to be effective in long-term relationships, particularly for those involved in business ventures:
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“In It Together”: This dynamic involves both partners actively participating in the business.
- Shared Respect: Partners gain deep respect for each other by knowing what it’s like to be “in the battlefield” or “in the arena” [00:06:26].
- Mutual Understanding: There’s an inherent understanding during intense work periods, eliminating the need for discussion or resentment when one partner needs to focus intensely [00:06:31].
- Financial Potential: Couples in this dynamic can potentially earn five times more money than those in other models [00:08:22].
- Challenge and Solution: The risk is becoming too familiar, leading to a “sibling” dynamic [00:07:51]. To counter this, they actively create space: working on separate sides of the house, not attending the same meetings, allowing for fresh conversations at dinner [00:08:31].
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“Cheerleader and Quarterback”: One partner takes on the primary business role while the other provides strong support.
- Unaltered Support: A true cheerleader supports without asking the “quarterback” to leave the game when it’s on the line [00:06:43].
- Aligned Mission: This dynamic requires a very aligned mission and goals for the relationship [00:07:00].
- Risk of Inversion: Beware of “inverted dynamics” where the “cheerleader” inadvertently sabotages the “game” [00:06:53].
Managing Familiarity and Space
Drawing on insights from relationship experts like Esther Perel, attraction often begins with mystery and evolves into familiarity and security [00:07:29]. However, over-correcting towards too much familiarity can lead to a “sibling” dynamic, which is not conducive to romantic relationships [00:07:51]. This balance is a “dichotomy to be managed,” not a problem to be solved [00:07:56].
Entrepreneurs face specific challenges:
- Growing Apart: If partners have separate careers and are exposed to different stimuli, they can grow apart [00:08:09].
- Becoming Too Familiar: For couples working together, the risk is becoming too familiar, like siblings [00:08:26].
The "Happiest Couples"
On average, the happiest couples are those with both partners pursuing careers that are not necessarily together, but they share common goals and values, respecting each other’s aspirations, and walking in parallel [00:08:42]. These couples tend to find a natural middle ground in terms of space and familiarity [00:09:15].
In conclusion, the journey of building multi-eight-figure companies involves not just financial strategies but also deeply personal philosophies on work, purpose, and the dynamics of one’s most significant relationships [00:00:00].